he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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