You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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