i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
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