Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
