A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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