you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
