he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
