In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
