my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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