Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS

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(785): View more from Kansas

whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick

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(910): View more from North Carolina

He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.

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(406): View more from Montana

Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.

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(563): View more from Iowa

Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.

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(208): View more from Idaho

It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney

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