oh god the rape fog is back!
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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