We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
