Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
