Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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