Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
