i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
