and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Randomize
