no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
