i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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