it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
