like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
