I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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