I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
