If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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