you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
