Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
