just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
