No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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