quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
