I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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