he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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