So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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