so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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