I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
