I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
