i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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