its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
