At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
