The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
