At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
