I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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