do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
