Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
