Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
