Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
