worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize