Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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