Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
