last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Randomize
