Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
