I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
