It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
