; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
