i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
farters have to be the big spoon...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
