WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
