I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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