Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
