I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
