At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
