well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
