Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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