I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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