he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
