Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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