Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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