South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize