Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
