I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize