this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
