No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
