So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
look no pants
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
